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What to say, what not to say, and why it matters
The way coaches talk about food and bodies shapes athletes' relationships with both for the next decade. This isn't about being “soft” — it's about being accurate and not causing harm.
Paste into a staff doc or share with assistants.
Avoid
"You'd be so fast if you lost a few pounds."
Use instead
"Let's focus on fueling so you can handle this training load."
Avoid
"You look really lean — you must be fit."
Use instead
"Your workouts have been really consistent — that shows."
Avoid
"We need you to lean out for state."
Use instead
"We want strong, durable athletes who can race all season."
Avoid
"Don't get too big in the weight room."
Use instead
"We're lifting to support power and prevent injuries."
Avoid
"You should eat clean."
Use instead
"Try to get some carbs and protein at every meal — the basics matter most."
Avoid
"That's a cheat meal."
Use instead
"There's no such thing as cheating — it's just food."
Avoid
"Are you sure you need that?"
Use instead
"Make sure you're getting enough fuel for the work you're doing."
Avoid
"I only eat X calories a day."
Use instead
Don't share your own dietary restrictions with athletes. Model normal, relaxed eating.
Avoid
"The best runners are the lightest."
Use instead
"The best runners are the ones who stay healthy all season."
Avoid
"You need to be tougher about what you eat."
Use instead
"Consistency matters more than perfection. Eat enough, eat regularly."
Avoid
"I ran my best when I was my thinnest."
Use instead
"I've seen too many athletes break down from under-fueling. It's not worth it."
Avoid
"Just push through it." (about pain or fatigue)
Use instead
"Tell me what's going on so we can figure out if it's a fueling issue or something else."
Avoid
"Look at [pro athlete] — they're so lean and fast."
Use instead
"Pro athletes have full-time dietitians. Let's focus on what works for a 16-year-old training 40 miles a week."
Avoid
"[Teammate] eats so much better than you."
Use instead
"Everyone's fueling needs are different. Let's figure out what works for you."
Avoid
"You've gained weight since last season."
Use instead
Say nothing about weight. Ever. Focus on performance and energy.
Print this and share it with your coaching staff. Set these at the first team meeting of the season.
Copy and paste into your email, Remind, or TeamSnap. Replace [Team] and [Coach Name] before sending.
Subject
How we talk about food and body on this team
Body
Hi [Team] families, We have clear norms for how we talk about food and body (no body comments, no weigh-ins, no "cheat meal" language). This page spells out what we say and what we avoid. We ask that you support these norms at home. Link: https://aspireperformancerd.com/coach/language-guardrails [Coach Name] Want your own access to this and 200+ other guides and tools? Parent & Athlete Access is $14/mo or $119/yr — about the price of a couple of coffees. You get the full portal: race-week planners, daily fuel log, iron & RED-S screeners, and more. See pricing and sign up: https://aspireperformancerd.com/pricing
Paste into your email client, Remind, or TeamSnap.
Aspire is built and run by a Registered Dietitian and head XC coach. All content is evidence-based and designed to protect athletes' physical and mental health while supporting performance. When red flags show up, we push coaches to refer to medical and mental health professionals — not to “fix it with more willpower.”
That starts with how coaches talk. Share this page with your staff and use the Language Audit tool to check your program's language.